As the speed of time returns to normal and I’ve eliminated yet another Starborn, there is an incessant roaring in my ears: Another run to the end of the Buried Temple, and the sameness of it all is a burning familia..
..JESUS FUCKING CHRIST CAN BETHESDA NOT FINALLY FIX THE DAMNED STARBORN POWER INFINITE NOISE GLITCH?!
Here we go: The big not-2.0-redemption-arc updates for Starfield.
This was pitched as a big fucking deal; content creators invited to check it out sang it’s praises, of course, so it must be a big deal, right?
Let’s talk about it.. but firstly: I’m not going to avoid some spoilery-type stuff for the main story. It’s been out long enough, and Bethesda themselves did spoil it in their own updates, so..
Did the Free Lanes update save Starfield?
Fuck no!
Ok, ok, it is actually a good update, but it isn’t anywhere near good enough.
The big, massive, sexy, underwear-dropping feature is basically Elite Dangerous’ “Supercruise mode”, except it’s just called “Cruise Mode”.
In it you basically can travel in-system direct to planets, stations and other space-centric POIs quickly, while also encountering other POIs.
That’s actually a good thing: If you enjoy the space flight and combat, this will give you more ways to enjoy it.
Terran Armada actually makes heavy use of this system.. To a certain limited degree of effectiveness (we’ll talk more about that in the TA review portion).
But wait, there’s more!
There have been a number of quality-of-life additions beyond Cruise Mode, and most of them target being an extra-dimensional entity known as Starborn.
Know that obnoxious particle chasing mini-game inside those damned temples?
Say fuck off, goodbye, eat a dick to them AND the temples after your first run to unlock the powers.
You can now upgrade your Starborn powers with Quantum Essense that you attained from killing other Starborn (FINALLY THAT SHIT IS USEFUL WITHOUT MODS)! Well, sorta.
You see, you’re supposed to be able to do it before entering Unity so you never actually have to enter Unity itself if you don’t want to, but.. Well, as of writing this? That still hasn’t been fixed, and I was only able to upgrade my Starborn powers after entering Unity.
I will note: This does not make Starborn powers better at all. No, you’ll still need a mod to make them anything more than a gimmick outside of a handful of powers, unfortunately.
Additionally you can also craft a Quantum Entanglement Device (at the lodge after collecting all the artifacts) which allows you to send items on through Unity so you can keep your favorite bits of kit.
This obviously doesn’t include ships, but oddly enough you can’t send credits through since they don’t have any physicalized inventory item.
This device is persistent throughout universes, so you only have to craft it once and it’ll exist in every universe you jump to via Unity.
Overall it’s a fantastic addition, but I will note that it comes off a bit.. Hackish in it’s delivery: As if it was done by a clever modder than the actual developers of the game.
Finally – and probably the most important addition – They changed up the POIs, adding new ones.. Which includes a couple changes to where artifacts are found in each Unity run!
That’s right: I had 2 unity runs that didn’t have me fucking going into the Abandoned Cryo Lab!
As far as everything else goes, well.. As I alluded to at the beginning of this, there are some long-standing bugs that still haven’t been patched, and it’s honestly fucking absurd how lazy Bethesda appears to be in general. They half-ass new features, and don’t even tackle some of the oldest, most obnoxious bugs in the game? Yeah, that tracks.
There are a number of new features at least beyond what I noted that do improve the game, though, so.. Maybe it’s a wash? Oh well, let’s get into Terran Armada.
Terran Armada: More like Terrible Arma Mod?
Ok, I tried to get too clever with that section title, and I’m sorry.. But I did put more thought into it than the Terran Armada DLC, I’ll say that.
Much like the Ship Upgrade Terminal you can add to your ships for a single piece of Iron to boost various systems by expending a new crafting material (that requires Terran Armada), Terran Armada is a half-assed questline that just.. Sucks.
I honestly felt like it was worse than Shattered Space, which I fucking hated.
I tried to convince myself twice to run the TA questline a second time after going through Unity, and I just cannot get the energy up to do it.
Here’s what makes me saying that even worse:
Terran Armada is just 6 fucking missions at it’s core, and 2 of them are fucking do X multi-step randomly-generated activity 3 times.
Terran Armada is fucking fluff for $10.
This DLC has you tackling invasions from the Terran fleet.
These invasions have no real consequences to the game aside from making fast travel to the areas they’ve invaded impossible, requiring you to use supercruise mode to get to them and eliminate the invasion (which is the multi-step randomly generated activity I referenced above).
The story? It attempts to be clever and relevant to the present day, but instead comes off as a weak elementary school surface-level understanding of conflict.. Which is worse than Bethesda’s usual choice mechanics go.
Seriously: The ending is a fucking genocide or not decision (and I don’t consider that being a spoiler) that was telegraphed hard during the 4th mission.
The characters at play here, much like Starfield’s themed single-cities-on-a-planet? Yeah, they don’t have much depth. The best character I encountered was still a hack, but at least he was entertaining.
Aside: BUCK-E’s little quip about patches reminds me that I make and sell patches, so, you know.. Go support indie creators by buying a patch, shirt, sticker, or whatever.
There are also bugs galore, because of course there is.
I actually had a show-stopper bug in the very first mission that required me to open the console and use no-clip to progress.
What happened is this: I encountered a bunch of enemies in this room, and proceeded to eliminate them handily.. However one of those enemies somehow glitched through that barrier and left the zone entirely, and as it turns out you need to eliminate all those enemies before that barrier will fucking lift. Yeah, that’s fucking great.
It’s not entirely bad, however.
Fancy yourself someone who likes laser weapons? Or maybe you want to enjoy a full auto build and not rely exclusively on the Magshear? Congratulations! There are multiple new weapons that are pretty damned powerful and/or interesting.. Actually, 2 of the ones I used – the Dogfight (SMG) and MGP Laser Rifle (there is also a ballistic variant) – are extremely OP, and I’d just destroy most enemies with them. The Dogfight actually wrecks foes in full-auto, as you can see in an early-game unique variant below.
Regarding the MGP rifles themselves, I actually had a point with my Terrible Arma Mod joke: These are essentially designed like space AR-10s (yes, I meant to say AR-10, not AR-15 – the AR-10 is a heavier-caliber rifle that typically uses a longer barrel), complete with MLOK and pic rails.
And if you like zero-G combat? Fuck yeah, Terran Armada has you covered: I did a lot of zero-g combat with it.
Too bad nothing else about the DLC is enough to justify it.
Let’s wrap this up, shall we?
Starfield, like war, never changes
Sure, Free Lanes & the Terran Armada DLC added some new stuff, but ultimately.. It’s still Starfield.
If you were hoping for something tied to the Starborn, or maybe something really fucking good like the UC or Crimson Fleet questlines?
Yeah, you’re going to have a bad time, my friends.
Terran Armada itself is about on-par with what a good modder can create, and I’m not even kidding; We waited how fucking long for this shit, and we get what is essentially a paid mod not entirely dissimilar from the goddamned Tracker’s Alliance?
I can’t fathom why they think this was worth the wait.
I’ll still hold out hope for a Starborn-themed DLC that expands on Unity (and makes Starborn powers better so you can play a true space wizard without mods), but given the track record of Bethesda when it comes to Starfield’s updates and DLC..
.. I have no hope.