The photo above is modified from a Creative Commons licensed image by Jeff Hitchcock.
Also, for my fellow English-speaking folks, that text over the image is pronounced "Oov-eh Failed". Puns are punny.
It seemed like forever since I last saw a headline featuring Uwe Boll; For those of you are unfamiliar, Uwe Boll is rather (in)famous for making really, really bad film adaptations of video games.
He's also a little famous for his four-in-a-row successes with consensual beating of critics in the boxing ring.
His latest challenge, however, managed to crash and burn in less than a week. Here's the beautiful conflagration for all you metaphorical pyrophiliacs:
Uwe Boll launched crowdfunding for yet another film.. This one a sequel to his dumpster-fire banger, Postal. The film was to be antithesis to "political correctness, algorythm [sic] bullshit, woke and cancel culture".
Ok.. I'm not shocked that Uwe Boll is one of those dumbasses too. People without any true creativity seem to always get pissed that they can't be shitty to folks in order to feel something outside of their usual deeply-internalized shame at being a failure at life.
Look, let me say this: If you're going to make a film adaptation of a video game basically focused on fucked up ultra-violence psychopathy, you really have to try hard to fuck it up. While the fanbase will be fairly niche, fans of absurdist darkness sustained by the thinnest of plotlines to deliver more blood than a grindhouse film are dedicated folk. The source material really gives you a lot of freedom as well as inspiration, and the fact that Uwe Boll managed to create such a shit-filled wasteland of a film with the first one is a testament to his complete lack of chops.
Could Postal 2 be his redemption story?
No; he fucked that up before he could even get started.
He (along with his buddy Gary Otto) started out with an Indiegogo crowdfunding attempt, which I believe is a new thing for him (he did crowdfund his previous works, but via more classical methods as far as I'm aware). You see, previously he made liberal use of creative tax accounting available for the arts in Germany. That's how his he could regularly make multi-million budget films and still function with a fractional return.
Anyway, according to PCGamer his crowdfunding pulled in a massive investment of.. $850 before he shut it down after less than a week and changed the project name to "Cancelled all pledges refunded".
His goal was $2.5 million, just FYI, and he had said even that wasn't enough on it's own.
Speaking of goals, it'd be great if you bought me a coffee to fuel more content like this.
If he didn't reach that goal, the plan was to shift the money to another project, but that doesn't explain why he gave up so easily and shuttered the crowdfunding page, does it?
Well, here's what does: Running With Scissors, who owns the Postal IP, said "I have no fuckin idea who Gary Otto, the project owner is."
Fucking chef's kiss right there.
You see, if you're going to make a movie adaptation of a video game, it helps to.. You know.. Have the film rights to it.
Uwe Boll and Gary Otto - who are no strangers to licensing IP for film adaptations - apparently forgot that fact.
With such a beautiful implosion of the project, I actually hope some small indie DOES get the rights and produces a proper grindhouse adaptation of Postal just to rub it in Uwe Boll's face.
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